The Last Laugh

The princess cannot bear to have anyone disagree with her. She can’t bear to have anyone, like a comedian, make jokes about her. And she’s applied herself to doing anything she can to have people like comedians who make fun of her lose their jobs. Her favorite and trademark line when she had her own TV show was “you’re fired.” She loves that.

The commonest comedian she hates these days is Stephen Colbert. (Although she did her best to try to get Jimmy Kimmel removed, too.) And he’s not the only one. So, it’s been determined when Colbert’s last show, at least on his current channel, will be. I think it might be the end of this week.

Here’s the thing about Colbert. Comedian John Oliver says Colbert is the best there is. I understand Oliver’s enthusiasm, but precisely the same thing could be said of Oliver. Or Jon Stewart. There aren’t many upper echelon TV political comedians, and I recently watched a clatch of Colbert, Oliver, Kimmel, Fallon, and I think two others whose names don’t spring to mind. Oh, yeah, Seth Myers was one. But all the same genre.

And upper echelon TV comedians is like upper echelon actors. Or athletes. They’re really good at delivering the really good content their writers write. (If you’ve never seen a movie called “Man of the Year,” you should watch it. Robin Williams’ character is just as good. He’s a TV comedian who does mostly political stuff. And by mistake — it’s what the movie is about — Williams gets elected president. Williams’ agent, Christopher Walken, will now become the agent to the president of the United States, and he complains about it, because he’ll have to take a pay cut.

Upper echelon TV comedians make a lot of money. (I very recently read that some of the lead actors in “The Devil Wears Prada 2” are getting $12.5M each. To make one movie.) I remember decades ago when each principal from Jerry Seinfeld’s show got $1M per episode.

The fact is that Stephen Colbert will never have to work again. He’s great at it, and he loves it, but he doesn’t need it to support his family. He will, of course, work again, because no one is going to let a talent like that go inactive, but for the moment, perhaps, he’ll be off the air. Because the princess can’t bear to have her feelings hurt, and Colbert hurt her feelings.

So in precisely the same way that the princess damages everything in her reach, and has been suffering the consequences, but can’t stop herself, there is a large and growing population of Americans who know very clearly why they can’t watch Colbert on TV. For a while. It is painfully clear to them whose fault this is.

I don’t watch television, but I see clips of various things. That includes Colbert. And frankly, because I care more about the possibility that something in the general area of functional or adaptive will be left in this country than I do about watching anything on TV, I hope Colbert takes a nice, long vacation, at least until early November. I’m guessing his show is daily, and if it is, then every day he’s absent is more Americans who are infuriated, and will take out their fury in the voting booth.

And by then, maybe these TV monopolies will fall apart, and someone — maybe Colbert’s former station — will hire him back. If they don’t, someone else will.